If you think you got struck by lightning, but aren’t sure, it’s probably good to get it checked out just in case.

I’m starting to doubt that shrimp have the magical romantic lives that most of assume.

New pirates usually get training eye patches. They’re a lot less itchy, but lack some of the pro features.

I bet people in Mississippi are really good at estimating how long a second is.

I have a feeling the 2000′s will be remembered as the decade balloon animal technology totally flat lined.

It’s sad the day you realize your dishwasher has lost that new dishwasher smell.

The crazy thing about going through a stranger’s refrigerator, replacing all their food with school supplies, and then leaving a little drawing, is that you don’t get to see that great look on their face when they see your joke.

I bet in castles there was an unwritten rule to never run around a corner with your sword pointing out. Unless, of course, you have your safety cork stuck on the end.

For birds, the biggest disadvantage in a fight is that every time they throw a punch, they fly a little bit.

If you get into a knife fight, it could be funny to pull out a fork and spoon. Then again, might not be worth it.