Never put yourself in a situation where you feel pressured to drink a cup of green glowing acid. Especially if you’re not sure whether it’s the healthy kind or the bad kind. 0

Yes, many terrible things have been done in the name of religion. But also, for Klondike bars. 3

If your blinker doesn’t blink as fast as you’d like, don’t forget you can manually override it by rapidly flicking the handle. 0

As I left the kitchen and turned down the dark hallway, I was shocked to find a can of beans staring me in my face. What was this short little hallway to nowhere? And why did it have so much food in it? 1

Never swipe a Samurai’s sword to cut the birthday cake. They’re way uptight about it. 0

If you invent a sport, and it’s almost exactly like football, except for no tackling or running, and the ball is actually more like a hammer, I have news for you – that’s nothing like football. 1

I’m not sure it matters whether someone writes a book about lumber. It’s just not something I care about. 0

I wonder if mocking birds get beat up more than regular birds. 3

What most people don’t know about butterflies is that if they could kill you, they would. 1

If you’re walking in a forest, and you think you found a pancake, check closely before you take a bite – it could be a mushroom. 0