I think Loitering is the only crime you can commit just by existing somewhere. 0

If you find $50,000 in the wash, you’ve probably waited too long to talk to your kids about robbing banks. 1

You’ve got to learn to crawl before you can walk, and also you have to learn to flip over from your back onto your stomach before you can learn to crawl. 1

Tennis machines are pretty cool, but it’s sad to see so many professional tennis players being put out of a job. 1

The problem with panning for gold in the city is that there aren’t many places you can dig without hitting some kind of wires or pipes. 0

If you’re having trouble staying warm in your igloo, try not making it out of ice next time. 0

If you’re thinking of getting me a Thomas Kinkade mouse pad, don’t blow the surprise by pointing out his gallery in the mall every time we pass by. 0

You can’t just teach someone to make great crop circles. Either they have it or they don’t. 0

If your name is actually John Doe, you’re just asking to get murdered. 0

A good thing about dropping your computer out of your second story window is that the mouse probably still works perfectly fine. 0