What most people don’t know about butterflies is that if they could kill you, they would.

If you’re walking in a forest, and you think you found a pancake, check closely before you take a bite – it could be a mushroom.

I think Loitering is the only crime you can commit just by existing somewhere.

If you find $50,000 in the wash, you’ve probably waited too long to talk to your kids about robbing banks.

For robots, getting caught in the rain is much more tragic than it is romantic.

You’ve got to learn to crawl before you can walk, and also you have to learn to flip over from your back onto your stomach before you can learn to crawl.

Tennis machines are pretty cool, but it’s sad to see so many professional tennis players being put out of a job.

The problem with panning for gold in the city is that there aren’t many places you can dig without hitting some kind of wires or pipes.

If you’re having trouble staying warm in your igloo, try not making it out of ice next time.

If you’re thinking of getting me a Thomas Kinkade mouse pad, don’t blow the surprise by pointing out his gallery in the mall every time we pass by.